Summary: Who am I? Well, I am the imaginary friend. You know — the one you conjure up to talk with when you’re consumed with loneliness, greed or visions of imminent doom. And that’s how this manuscript came into being.
I have listened to thousands of stories and it would be a shame if they just stayed with me, never to be heard again. Their subjects vary greatly, but I have chosen to share only the ones I found to be particularly curious. Take the story told to me by a man within days of his execution, for instance. I will relay it to you verbatim, just as he told me his tale…
Being a creature of the twilight, I know a few things about life and death. You mortals don’t disappear when your body stops functioning. In many ways, your “real life” begins after your body dies. In fact, as I was relaxing in front of a fireplace once – don’t be surprised, imaginary friends like to be comfortable just like anyone else – a man walked into my sitting room. It took me a few moments to realize that he needed my services, but as always, I listened intently.
I like people with manners. They seem to be in short supply lately. I can’t tell you how often I must endure indignities from those who think that imaginary friends can be talked to any which way they choose. But I have a tale that was told by a woman who was nothing but polite. This lady offered tea and crumpets and made some small talk even, before telling me her tale. As I listened, the tears ran down my face, and those were not imaginary either...
As you can imagine, the life of the imaginary friend is never dull, for people have a great need for companionship. Once in while, however, even I have time to relax and enjoy myself between stories. But just as I opened a bottle of cold beer – yes, imaginary friends are no teetotalers – it happened again. I heard a man calling for my attention. He looked like a nice harmless chap, scholarly type, you know. As soon as he became comfortable with me, his tale just poured out of him. And what a tale it was...
Have you ever been troubled by nightmares? Were you relieved when you woke up? No matter. Are you sure you can tell the difference between the nightmare and the waking state? Think it through before giving me your answer, for you’ll find an account about just this subject from a most interesting gentleman indeed who really needed to talk to me...
Sometimes only an imaginary friend can truly listen to your deepest troubles and most distressing woes. Wouldn’t you agree?
Read on, dear reader... read on. |
